|Indra Santoso and Nina Kirana|
|Married Ceremony between Nina Kirana, daughter of Muhammad Mr Slamet Jusuf and Siti Masfufah and Indra Santoso son of Mr.Slamet in Villa Pertiwi Blok Oi No.17 Depok, West Java, Indonesia on Saturday, June 1, 2013|
Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz
Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz asked: There is a habit that has meyebar, that is the teenage girl or the guy who proposed to her parents refused, arguing madih about to complete his studies in high school or in college, or to have to teach in a few years. What is the ruling? What advice Shaikh for people who do, in fact there is a woman who has reached the age of 30 years or more are not married?
My advice to all the young men and women to get married if there is ease, because the Prophet Shallallau 'alaihi wa sallam has said.
"Meaning: O young gentlemen, whoever amongst you that has the ability, then get married, because marriage is more bow eye and maintain the sanctity of vulva, and whoever is not able to, then let fasting, as fasting can be a shield for him". [Muttafaq 'Alaih]
Word of his as well.
"Meaning: When someone you ridhai religious and moral come to you to apply, then kawinkanlah she (the daughter), if not necessarily going to happen slander and massive destruction on earth". [Reported by At-Turmudzi, with sanad Hasan]
Word of his again.
"Meaning: Kawinkanlah women loving again fertile (many children), because indeed I will compete with other beings-beings by the number of guys on the day it is".
Married also contains many beneficiaries are partly mentioned by the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, as terpalingnya eye view (from the view that is not kosher), maintaining the sanctity of honor, multiply the number of Muslims as well as the survivors of the massive damage and the harmful effects that destroy.
May God give taufiqNya to all the Muslims towards religion and world affairs benefit them, verily He heareth Close
[Fatwa of Shaykh Bin Baz on the Al-Da'wah magazine, issue 117]
[Transcribed from the Book of Al-Fatawa ash-Syar'iyyah Fi Al-Masa'il Ashriyyah Min Fataawa al-Ulama Al-Balad Al-Haram, author, Khalid Al-Juraisy, Issue Fatwa-Fatwa Latest Indonesia, translator Amir Hamzah et al, Publisher dar ul Haq]
ISLAMIC CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE
Al-Ustadz Yazid bin Abdul Qadir Jawas
The issue of marriage is a question that is always current and always interesting to talk about, because this issue is not just about character and livelihood of human rights but also touching a central institution and the noble household. Sublime, since this institution was a stronghold for the defense of human dignity and the values of the sublime and the central ahlaq.
Because it is a central institution for the birth and growth of Bani Adam, who would have a key role in bringing peace and prosperity on this earth. According to Bani Islam Adamlah the honor to carry the divine mandate as caliph in the earth, as the word of Allah Ta'ala.
"It means: Remember when your Lord said to the angels:" Behold, I am about to make a vicegerent on earth. "They said:" Why do you want to make (caliph) on earth that person who will make mischief therein and shed blood, while we always praises thee and purified thee?. Allah says: "Verily I know what ye know not." [Al-Baqarah: 30].
Marriage is not a trivial issue, but it is an important issue and large. 'Aqad marriage (marriage) is as a strong and holy covenant (mitsaqon gholidhoo) to, as the word of Allah Ta'ala.
"Meaning: How are you going to take it when some of you have been hanging out (mixed) with the other as husband and wife and their (your wives) have taken from you a strong covenant". [An-Nisaa ': 21].
Therefore, it is expected that all parties involved, especially the parents, to maintain and preserve it sincerely and responsibly.
Islamic religion has given a complete and detailed guidance on the issue of marriage. Ranging from advocacy to marry, how to choose an ideal partner, do khitbah (making a proposal), how to educate children, and provide a way out if there was chaos in the household, until the process nafaqah and estate, all governed by Islam in detail and detail.
Furthermore, to understand the Islamic concept of marriage, then the reference is valid and correct most of the Qur'an and Sunnah Saheeh (in accordance with the understanding of the Salaf Salih-pen), with this reference we will see clarity on aspects of marriage and some lapses and shifts the value of marriage in our society.
Of course, not all problems can pour author in this paper, only a few issues that need to be discussed is about: Human Fitrah, Destination Marriage in Islam, Marriage and Diversion Procedures in Marriage.
MARRIAGE IS A HUMAN FITRAH
Islam is a religion of nature are religious, and human beings are created by Allah Ta'ala fit this nature, because it is Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala told Human exposes himself to the religious nature are to prevent fraud and irregularities. So that people walking on its disposition.
Marriage is a human nature are, therefore Islam advocate for marriage, because marriage is gharizah insaniyah (human instinct). When gharizah is not filled with a valid path that is marriage, then he will find the streets Shaitaan many plunges into the black valley. Word of Allah Ta'ala.
"It means: So hadapkanlah with a straight face to religion (God); (keep on) nature God has created man in the nature. Were no changes in the nature of God. (That's) religion straight, but most people do not know". [Ar-Rum: 30].
A. Encourage Islamic Marriage
Islam has made marriage lawful based on the Qur'an and Sunnah as the only means to meet the demands of a very basic human instinct, and the means to build an Islamic family. Islam against the award of the marital bond once, to the extent that the bond was set proportional to half the religion. Anas bin Malik radliyallahu 'anhu said: "It has been said the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam:
"Meaning: Whoever got married, then he has completed half of his religion. And let him devoted to God in caring for the other half". [Hadith History Thabrani and Judge]
B. Muslims Do not Like celibacy
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam commanded to marry and prohibits loud to people who do not want to get married. Anas bin Malik radliyallahu 'anhu said: "The Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam ordered us to our marriage and celibacy ban with harsh restrictions". And he said:
"Meaning: Marry women who are loving and lots of children. 'Cause I'll berbanggga with many of my people before the Prophet later on the Day of Resurrection". [Hadith in shahihkan by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban]
Once upon a time three companions came to ask the wives of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam about his worship, then once explained, each wanting to improve their worship. One said: As for me, will be fasting all time without a break. And the other said: As I would stay away from a woman, I will not marry forever .... When it is heard by the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, he came out as he said:
"Meaning: Is it true that you guys have said so and so, indeed for the sake of God, in fact I was the most scared and pious among you. However I fast and I break the fast, I pray and I sleep and I also marry women. Whoever does not sunnahku liked, so he did not include golongannku ". [Hadith Bukhari and Muslim].
People who have sense and Bashirah will not want to lead him astray with the single life. Shaykh Muhammad Yusuf Hussain says: "Celibacy is a dry and barren life, life has no meaning and purpose. A life devoid of many human virtues which are generally established on the basis of selfishness and self-centered and want apart from all liability responsibility ".
People who are celibate are generally only live for themselves. Their joint bachelor who always raging lust, passion and spiritual purity to become cloudy. They are always there in the struggle against nature, in spite of their faith to be reliable, but the upheaval that occurs continuously over time will weaken the faith and endurance as well as mental health problem and will bring disgrace to the valley.
So people are reluctant to marry either men or women, then they are actually classified as the most miserable person in this life. They are the people most do not enjoy the happiness of life, both sensual and spiritual pleasures are. Maybe they are rich, but they are of the gift of God's poor.
Islam rejects the monastic system because the system is contrary to human nature, and even the attitude that means against the nature of God Almighty and the Sunnah that has been set for its inhabitants. Reluctance foster home for fear of being poor is the attitude of the ignorant (fool), because all sustenance is set by God from the human being in the womb, and man can not theorize diakaruniakan sustenance Allah, for example, he said: "When I lived alone payroll I am pretty, but if the wife had not enough?! ".
These words are words of vanity, as opposed to the verses of Allah and the hadith the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. God commanded to marry, and if they are indigent surely Allah will help to provide sustenance to him. God promises a relief to those who married, in his words:
"Meaning: And kawinkanlah people alone among you and those decent (spouse) of the servants sahayamu that both men and women. If they are needy, Allah will enrich them of His bounty., And Allah is Broad (His administration), Knowing ". [An-Nur: 32]
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam strengthen God's promise to his saying:
"Meaning: There are three classes of people who are entitled God help them, which is a mujahid fi sabilillah, a servant who redeemed himself so independent, and married a man because he wanted to maintain his honor". [Reported by Ahmad Hadith 2: 251, Nasa'i, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah Hadith No.. 2518, and Judge 2: 160 of the Companions Abu Hurayrah radliyallahu 'anhu].
The Salaf-Salih strongly advocated for their anti-marriage and celibacy, and not linger like life itself.
Ibn Mas'ud radliyallahu 'anhu once said: "If my age ten days away, I really would rather get married than I have to see God as a bachelor". [Ihya Ulumuddin and Tuhfatul 'Flow it. 20].
PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
. Man Demands To Meet The Human Instinct
In the previous article we mentioned that marriage is a human nature, it is a legitimate way to meet this requirement is to aqad marriage (through the levels of marriage), not in a way that is very dirty disgusting as the ways people today with dating, cohabiting, prostitution , adultery, lesbian, gay, and others who have strayed and are forbidden by Islam.
. Fortifying the moral thing to Sublime.
The main objectives of marriage in Islam disyari'atkannya of which is to fortify the human dignity of gross and heinous deeds, which has lowered the dignity of the human and the sublime lull. Islam regards marriage and family formation as a means for maintaining efefktif young men and women of the damage, and protect society from chaos. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
"Meaning: O youth! Whoever among you capable to get married, then nikahlah, because marriage is more lowered outlook, and fortify the vulva (genitals). And those who are unable, then let him fast (sawm), because it can shaum fortify himself ". [Sahih Hadith Reported by Ahmad, Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Nasa'i, Darimi, Ibn Jarud and Baihaqi].
. To Enforce Islamic Households.
In the Qur'an states that Islam justifies THALAQ (divorce), if the husband and wife are no longer able to enforce the limits Allah, as Allah role in the following verse:
"Meaning: THALAQ (which can dirujuki) twice, after it shall refer again by doing good or divorce in a way that bail. Not lawful for you to take back from something that you have given them, except when both parties fear will not can keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them given by the wife paid for her freedom. these are the limits of God, so do not violate them. Whoever transgresses the law of God they are the ones who dhalim ". [Al-Baqarah: 229].
Ie, they are not able to implement the Shari'ah of God. And justifiably refer to (re married again) when keduany able to enforce the boundaries of God. As mentioned in surah Al-Baqarah verse above continued:
"Meaning: So if a husband menthalaqnya (THALAQ after the second), then she is not lawful for him to be married to another husband. Then if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin for both of them (the first ex-husband and wife ) to marry again, if they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah, diternagkannya to a people who (want to) know ". [Al-Baqarah: 230]
So noble purpose of marriage is for the husband and wife Sialm implement shariah in their household. Domestic law enforcement is required by Islamic law. Therefore every Muslim and Muslimah who wants to foster an Islamic household, then Islam has given some criteria about the ideal potential partner, namely: Should kafa'ah and shalihah.
[A]. According to the Islamic concept kafa'ah
Override the influence of materialism has many parents. Not a few of today's parents have thought, that in looking for a soul mate for their child, always consider the equilibrium position, social status and descent alone. While religious consideration received less attention. Kufu problem '(equal, equivalent) only measured through course material.
According to Islam, kafa'ah or similarity, equivalence or equivalent in a marriage, it is considered very important due to the similarity between the husband and wife, the effort to establish and build an Islamic household inysa God will manifest. But kafa'ah according to Islam only measured by the quality of faith and piety as well as someone ahlaq, social status, descent and others. God looked at the same degree that the person either Arab or non-Arab, rich or poor. There is no difference of two degrees but taqwanya [Al-Hujurat: 13]
"Meaning: O mankind, We created you from a male and a female and made you a nation-state and tribes that ye may know each other know. Verily the noblest among you in Allah's sight are those most pious among you. Surely Allah is Knower Know ". [Al-Hujurat: 13].
And they keep sekufu 'and there is no obstacle for them to marry each other. Mandatory for parents, young men and women who still berfaham materialist and harboring an obligatory customs they leave and return to the Qur'an and the Saheeh Sunnah. Words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:
"Meaning: Women marry because of four things: Because of his property, because his descendants, because of her beauty, and because of his religion. Then let you select because of his religion (to-Islamannya), because if not, surely you would be damned". [Hadith Bukhari 6:123 Shahi history, Muslim 4:175]
[B]. Choosing The shalihah
People who want to marry a woman who must choose shalihan and women should choose a righteous man. According to the Qur'an shalihah women are:
"Meaning: Women who shalihah who obey God is to nurture self again when the husband is not there, as God has kept (them)". [An-Nisaa: 34]
According to Al-Quran and Al-Hadith Sahih among the characteristics of women who shalihah is:
"Obey Allah, obey the Messenger, Wearing a veil that covers the entire private parts and not to show off beauty (tabarruj) as a woman of ignorance (Al-Ahzab: 32), not being alone with men who are not mahram, to obey both the Parent in favor, obey the husband and kind to neighbors and so forth ".
If these criteria are met Insha Allah Islamic households will be realized. In addition, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam recommends to choose the Peranakan ladies (many offspring) and compassionate in order to give birth to the next generation of people.
. To Improve Worship to God.
According to the concept of Islam, live sepenunya to worship Allah and do good to fellow human beings. From this perspective, the household is one of the hotbeds of worship and good deeds in addition to worship and righteous deeds others, to the extent that any intercourse with the wife-including worship (alms).
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
"Meaning: If you have intercourse with your wives including alms. Hear the word of the Companions of the Messenger of amazement and asked:" O Messenger of Allah, a husband who satisfy his sexual desire for his wife to be rewarded? "The Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam replied:" How do you think if they (the husbands) besides intercourse with his wife, they are not innocent.? "The Companions replied:" Yeah, right. "He said again:" Similarly, if they have intercourse with his wife (in a halal), they will earn rewards! ". [Sahih Hadith 3:82 Narrated by Muslim, Ahmad 5:1167 -168 and Nasa'i with Saheeh isnaad].
. To Finding The Descendants Salih.
Marriage purpose of which is to preserve and develop the sons of Adam, Allah says:
"Meaning: God has made of himself me that the couple and made for you of your wives, the children and grandchildren, and give you a good fortune. Then why do they believe in the falsehood and deny favors of Allah? ". [An-Nahl: 72]
And the most important thing in a marriage is not just to have children, but trying to find a quality and form generation, is looking for a righteous son and devoted to God.
Surely the righteous descendants will not be obtained but with the correct Islamic education. We mention this because a lot of "Islamic Institutions", but the content and how un-Islamic. So we see a lot of kids do not have ahlaq Muslims Islami, caused due to wrong education. Therefore husband and wife are responsible to educate, teach, and lead the children to the right path.
About the purpose of marriage in Islam, Islam also considers that the establishment of the family as a way to realize the goals bigger covering various aspects of society based on Islam which will have a major impact and fundamental to the existence of the Muslims and the Muslims.
PROCEDURES FOR MARRIAGE IN ISLAM
Islam has given a clear concept of marriage based on the procedures of the Qur'an and Sahih Sunnah (according to the understanding of the Salaf Salih-ed), the authors briefly mention and explain if necessary:
. Khitbah (making a proposal)
A Muslim man who would marry a Muslim woman should he woo first, because it is possible he was in the nut by someone else, in this case Islam forbids a Muslim woman being proposed to the groom by others (muttafaq 'alaihi). In khitbah disunnahkan will see the face of the groom (Sahih Hadith Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi No.. 1093 and Darimi).
. Aqad Marriage
In aqad marriage there are several requirements and obligations that must be met:
a. The existence of a second consensual bride.
b. The existence Ijab qabul.
c. Mahar existence.
d. The existence of Guardian.
e. Presence of witnesses.
And according to the sunnah before marriage held aqad first sermon called Khutbatun Marriage or Khutbatul Hajat.
Walimatul 'urusy obligatory and be simple and should be invited in walimah poor people. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said about inviting the rich just means the food was as bad as the bad food.
Words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
"Meaning: The food is the worst food in the walimah invite only rich people have to eat, while the poor are not invited. Whoever does not attend walimah invitation, then he disobedient to Allah and His Messenger". [Hadith Sahih Muslim History 4:154 and 7:262 Bayhaqi from Abu Hurayrah]
As an important note that should be invited to the righteous people, rich and poor, because the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:
"Meaning: Do not associate it with the believers and do not eat your food but god-fearing people". [Sahih Hadith History Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, Ahmad Hakim 4:128 and 3:38 of Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri].
SOME diversion HAPPENS IN THE MARRIAGE MUST be avoided / REMOVED.
Most people before marriage typically hold "Dating" in advance, it is usually considered as an individual introductory period, or period of assessment or considered as a manifestation of the love for the opposite sex.
Such an assumption, then gave birth to a consensus among the parties with regard to courtship as something normal and perfectly natural. This feeling is wrong and mistaken assumption. In dating is certainly not inevitable berintim intimate of two beings of the opposite sex, there is perspective view and touch the touch occurs, it is clear that everything is haram according to Islamic law.
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
"Meaning: Never bersendirian a man with a woman, but the woman was with mahram". [Sahih Hadith Reported by Ahmad, Bukhari and Muslim].
So in Islam there is no chance of dating and dating is haraam.
. The ring exchange.
In making a proposal usually exchange rings as a sign of the bond, it is not from the teachings of Islam. (See Adabuz-Zifaf, Shaykh Nasir al-Albani)
. The High Mahar demanded.
Islam according to the best of dowry is a cheap and easy, not difficult or expensive. Indeed, the dower rights of women, but Islam prohibits suggest that simplify and high dowry demands.
The story of a woman's warning against Umar bin Khattab that limit women's dowry, is a story that one because it was very weak history. [See Irwa'ul Ghalil 6, p. 347-348].
. Ceremony to follow.
Islamic teachings and rules should be higher than anything else. Every event, ceremonies and customs that are contrary to Islam, then it is obligatory to remove. Muslims generally in the way of marriage is always increasing and flattering local customs, so Sunnah-sunnah of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam is true and authentic and have them turn off the Quench.
How ironic ...!. To those who still menuhankan customs of ignorance and abusive concept of Islam, meaning they do not believe in Islam.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says:
"Meaning: Does ignorance of law they want, and (legal) who is better than the (law) of God for those who believe?". [Al-Maaidah: 50]
People who search for concepts, rules, and procedures other than Islam, then everything will not be accepted by God and later in the Hereafter they will be the losers, as the word of Allah Ta'ala:
"Meaning: Whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will not ever be accepted (the religion) thereof, and in the Hereafter he is among those who lose". [Ali-Imran: 85].
. Saying Congratulations Ala. The Ignorance.
The ignorance always use words Birafa 'Wal Banin, when congratulate the bride and groom. Speech Birafa 'Wal Banin (hopefully cheap sustenance groom and many children) are prohibited by Islam.
Of Al-Hasan, that 'Aqil ibn Abi Talib married a woman from Jasyam. Guests congratulate ignorance by saying: Birafa 'Wal Banin. 'Aqil ibn Abi Talib forbade them, saying: "Do not say that!. Due shallallhu Rasulullah' alaihi wa sallam forbade such speech". Guests are asked: "What shall we say, O Abu Zaid?". 'Aqil explained:
"Say: Barakallahu lakum wa Baraka 'Alaiykum' (May Allah give you blessings and bestow upon you a blessing). Such words are ordered Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam'. [Hadith Sahih Ibn Abi Syaibah history, Darimi 2:134, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad 3:451, etc.].
Benediction usual Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam say to a bride is:
"Baarakallahu baarakaa wa laka 'alaiyka wa Jama'a baiynakumaa FII Khoir"
Benediction is based on the hadeeth narrated from Abu Hurayrah:
"Meaning: From Abu Hurairah, that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam if to congratulate a bride, he made a prayer: (Baarakallahu laka wabaraka' alaiyka wa Jama'a baiynakuma Khoir FII) May Allah give you blessings, Easy- Allah will pour out blessings upon you and that He will unite you both in kindness ". [Reported by Ahmad 2:38 Sahih Hadith, Tirmidhi, Darimi 2:134, 2:183 Hakim, Ibn Majah and Bayhaqi 7:148].
. Ikhtilath existence.
Ikhtilath is the mixing of men and women to occur of view see, touch touch, handshake between man and woman. According to Islam between the bridegroom and women should be separated, so that what we have mentioned above can be avoided everything.
. Other violations.
Other violations are often carried out in them is frenetic music.
The ideal household in Islam is a household filled with Sakinah (peace of soul), Mawaddah (of love) and Rahmah (mercy), Allah says:
"Meaning: And among His signs is that He created him you wives of your kind yourself, lest you live peacefully with him. And He (also) have made among you (husband, wife) love and affection. Indeed in this is truly there are signs for a people who think ". [Ar-Rum: 21].
In an Islamic household, a husband and wife must understand each deficiency and excess, and must know and understand their rights and obligations and duties of each fungsiya that must be implemented with full responsibility.
That efforts to achieve marriage and household gets keridla'an God can be realized, but given the human condition that can not be separated from the weaknesses and shortcomings, while the trials and tribulations always accompany human life, it is not uncommon pair originally lived quiet, peaceful and happy suddenly hit "crisis" discord and strife.
When you have strived for peace, as mentioned in the Qur'an Surat an-Nisaa: 34-35, but it still fails, then Islam gives a last resort, the "divorce".
Let us strive to melakasanakan marriage in Islam and an Islamic foster home, and we shall leave rules, ordinances, ceremonies and customs that are contrary to Islam. Teachings of Islam is the only true doctrine and diridlai by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala [Ali-Imran: 19]
"Meaning: Our Lord, anugrahkanlah us wives and offspring who soothes our hearts, and make us priests to those who fear Him". [Al-Furqan: 140].
Wallahu a'alam sowab bish.
[Copied from the Sunnah Edition Magazine 10-11/Th I/1415-1994. Published By Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Addresses Muslims Building Lt II Kartopuran Surakarta 241A 57 152]