Sunday, July 1, 2012

Fostering Harmonious Household, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.: الدنيا كلها متاع, وخير متاع الدنيا الزوجة الصالحة The world is full of pleasure. And the best of the pleasures of the world shalihah wife.

Fostering Harmonious Household, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.: الدنيا كلها متاع, وخير متاع الدنيا الزوجة الصالحة
The world is full of pleasure. And the best of the pleasures of the world shalihah wife.

Cleric Abu Ihsan Al-Atsari

A happy home and a harmonious dream for every believer. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam has set an example for us, on how to build domestic harmony. It was the Prophet himself was the best example there. And a husband must realize that there is a hero in his home behind the scenes, the carrier calmness and coolness, namely his wife. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

الدنيا كلها متاع, وخير متاع الدنيا الزوجة الصالحة

The world is full of pleasure. And the best of the pleasures of the world shalihah wife.

Smart-pandailah Caring Wife
Therefore, a good husband should maintain and protect his wife physically and spiritually. So it could be an ideal wife, a good housewife and responsible. Harmonious atmosphere is largely determined by the good cooperation between husband and wife in creating a conducive atmosphere and warm, not boring, much less tedious.

One example of harmony in the household the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam He was called' Ayesha Allaah 'anha with pet and call him to preach the news that makes the soul' Assia be very happy.

'Aisha Allaah' anha following story, one day the Prophet said to him.

يا عائش, هذا جبريل يقرئك السلام

O 'Aisy (call pet' Aisha Allaah 'anha), the Angel Gabriel had a greeting for you. [Agreed upon]

That is one example of how to create an atmosphere of harmony in the household pet to call his wife to call. We still often see the man who calls her offhand. Sometimes called his wife with disabilities and disadvantages. Then the attitude of the husband, how harmony can be created? How might the growing sense of love to the husband's wife?

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, as the prophet of this people the most perfect and highest moral rank-has provided a valuable example in the case applies both to the wife and in terms of humility, and knowledge about women's desire and jealousy. He sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam put them in a position coveted by all women. That is being a wife who has a respectable standing beside her husband.
'Aisha radhiallahu' anha said:

كنت أشرب وأنا حائض, فأناوله النبي فيضع فاه على موضع في و أتعرق العرق فيتناوله و يضع فاه في موضع في

One time I drank when I was in menstruation, and then I gave my glass to the Prophet and he drank from the mouth of the glass where I drink. On another occasion I ate a piece of meat, then he took the piece of meat and eat it right where I eat it. [Reported by Muslim]

If you Need A plate Together!
That intimacy can be created, creating a sense of belonging, kinship and sepenanggungan. Both a plate, a glass together, eat congregation as well as some other things recommended by the Prophet to be done jointly by a husband and wife! Thus creating a mutual understanding of each other. Now it is rare to see a husband who is sensitive to the feelings of his wife. The wife ate ala levels at home while her husband as much out of pocket! Natural that suspicion grew little by little. Even some married couples who bicker because of trivial matters.

Often Kissing Wife, Tabukah ...?
Narrated by 'Aisha radhiallahu' he said, may Allaah be pleased:

أن النبي قبل امرأة من نسائه ثم خرج إلى الصلاة ولم يتوضأ

Prophet never kissed one of his wives left him and then prayed without ablution memperbaharuhi '. [Reported by Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi]

Culture seems to kiss the wife was a stranger in our communities, especially the east. In fact there are many who menggapnya taboo, they claim it as western culture. However, the assumption was refuted by the history that we had brought. Of course, kiss the wife that we do not mean kissing his wife in public or in front of the crowd. Actually a lot of wisdom so often kissed his wife. Often we see a couple who ignore each other. Sometimes the husband gone unnoticed by his wife where her husband went. Hurry off with a kiss, asking where it had not gone. The husband hurried away to disappear, sometimes without saying goodbye and without a greeting!? Just look at how the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, along with his wives. To the extent that the Prophet took kissed his wife before going to the mosque.

State the Pain Love To Wife!
On many occasions the Prophet always explain clearly the high status of women in his hand. They-women-have a great position and a high degree. Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam never answer the question 'Amr bin Al-`As Allaah anhu around this problem, he explained to him that loves his wife is not a taboo for a normal man.

'Amr bin Al-`As Allaah anhu once asked the Messenger of Allaah ل laihi wa sallam:" Who is the person you love most? "He replied:"' Aisha! "[Agreed upon]

For those who crave the harmony of the household, let them often to read the stories of 'Aisha radhiallahu' asha with the Messenger of Allaah alaihi wa sallam. And learn how the Messenger of Allaah tips alaihi wa sallam happy 'Aisha radhiallahu' anha.

Aisha radhiallahu 'anha recalled:

كنت أغتسل أنا و رسول الله من إناء واحد

I used to shower together with the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ل laihi of a vessel. [Bukhari].

Take advantage of every opportunity
Sediktpun Prophet never missed a chance unless he utilized for his wife happy and fun through the things that are allowed.

Aisha radhiallahu 'anha relates: "At one time I was with the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam in a trip. At that time I was a slim girl. He ordered the group to move first. They were off ahead of us. Then he said to me: "Come here! Now we raced. "I was meladeninya and finally I can beat him. He sat silent for keunggulanku earlier. Until next time, when I was a little chubby, I was with him on a trip. He ordered the group to move first. Then he invited me compete again. And finally he can mengungguliku. He laughed and said: "This is the redeemer defeat ago!" [Reported by Ahmad]

It's a very fun game and quite entertaining. He ordered the group to go first so he could entertain his wife to take her heart raced. Then he combines the last game with a new one, he said: "This is the redeemer defeat ago!"

For those who travel frequently traveled the world and pay attention to stories of people and leading top, would be amazed to see the Prophet deed Shallalahu 'alaihi wa sallam. He was a noble prophet, a leader who is always victorious, comes from a distinguished ancestry, the tribe of Quraysh and Bani Hashim. In moments of victory and re-branded from a battle with a group of troops, yet he remains as a loving husband and humility towards his wives. His position as leader of the troops, traveled a long journey, and victory after victory on the battlefield, does not make him forget that he has been faithful in his hand waiting for his wife who desperately need a gentle nudge and whisper spoiled. In order to remove the heavy burden of a grueling trip.

Narrated by Imam Bukhari that when the Messenger of Allaah 'alaihi wa sallam returned from battle of Khaibar, he married Safiyyah bint Huyaiy radhiallahu' anha. He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa Salla mmengulurkan curtain near the camel to be ridden to protect Safia radhiallahu' anha of people's views. Then he sat resting on the knee on the side of the camel, he invited Safia radhiallahu 'anha to rise to the top of camels to rest on his knees.

Such a view gives the impression was so deep that he showed ketawadhu'an. Prophet, who debuted as a leader and a prophet who was sent-to give an example to his people that being tawadhu 'to his wife, invited him as a knee support, homework help, happy wife, did not reduce the degree and position of his.

If we compare the attitudes and behavior of their husbands nowadays, sometimes their activities outside the home and their other activities in addition to earning a living sometimes disregard the right of his wife. The wife no longer gets from her husband's indulgence and entertainment. But who met the wife is her husband's face berkurut like lime because of fatigue or annoyance outside the home or because of problems outside the house on him? Instead of playing time or a joke and jest, sometimes there just is not the time to chat! If that is the situation how it is possible to create household harmony?

Polygamy, Destructive harmony ...?
Islamic law to justify its husbands to marry more than one wife, they were allowed to marry four wives if they have the ability for it. And the husbands are commanded to do justice to his wives, just turn on the issue and distribution of income.

And as has been understood that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam married nine women who later became known as the Faithful Ummahatul radhiallahu' anhum. Messenger is the best example in terms of doing justice to his wife, in the case of the division's turn or other affairs. 'Aisha radhiallahu anha been revealed:

كان رسول الله إذا أراد سفرا أقرع بين نسائه, فأيتهن خرج سهمها خرج بها معه, وكان يقسم لكل امرأة منهن يومها وليلتها

Each time the Messenger of Allaah wa sallam ل laihi about touring, he has always cast his wife. For those who are selected will accompany him in the trip. He divides the turn of each wife each day and night. [Reported by Muslim]

Anas following we present to one form of justice to his wives. Anas Allaah anhu reported:

كان للنبي تسع نسوة, فكان إذا قسم بينهن لا ينتمي إلى المرأة الأولى إلا في تسع, فكن يجتمعن كل ليلة في بيت التي يأتيها, فكان في بيت عائشة, فجاءت زينب فمد يده إليها فقالت عائشة: هذه زينب! فكف النبي يده ... "

Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam had nine wives. If he had divided turn for wives, he just stay at home wife who got the turn. Usually the Ummahaatul Faithful gather every evening at the house where he spent the night. One night, they gathered in the house 'Aiysah radhiallahu' anha that the turn is coming. Prophet held out his hand to Zaenab radhiallahu 'anha are present at the time. 'Aisha radhiallahu' anha said: "It Zaenab!" She quickly pulled her hand back. [Agreed upon]

That justice is exemplified by the Prophet sallallaahu wa sallam laihi ل. But now we find there are husbands who do the sunnah ta'addud (polygamy) that ignore the rights of one of his wives. Even the tragic end in the waste of one of his wife's rights, whether it be the wife of the first or the second. Because in view of the Shari'a is no different position to the first wife a second wife, third or fourth.

Let the husbands who carry out the sunnah ta'addud let emulate the Messenger of Allaah alaihi wa sallam in fair to their wives and in fulfilling the rights of his wives. So it is not sunnah ta'addud a scourge in the household who is often assumed would be depriving domestic harmony. Such assumptions have been refuted by the Messenger of Allaah ل laihi wa sallam, he proved that many wives were not reduced domestic harmony.

Invite Wife Worshipping Together!
Thus the atmosphere of the household of the Prophet, such harmony can only be realized with the assistance and guidance of God taufik. One factor terbinanya harmonious household is even the main pillar is the worship together. Let the husband take his wife to worship together, such as evening prayers together, shaum voluntary joint, and several other service that can be done together. The Messenger of Allaah wa sallam ل laihi it has been pointed out. He always advocated his wives to actively help them in their worship and practice their religion, according to the commandment of God Subhanaahu wa Taala.

وأمر أهلك بالصلاة واصطبر عليها لا نسألك رزقا نحن نرزقك والعاقبة للتقوى

And command to establish family prayers in the work and be patient. We do not ask for good luck to you, we who give good luck to you. And effects (good) it is for those who fear Him. [Thaaha/20: 132]

'Aisha radhiallahu' anha narrates:

كان النبي يصلي وأنا راقدة معترضة على فراشه, فإذا أراد أن يوتر أيقظني

The Messenger of Allaah wa sallam ل laihi usual night prayer while I was sleeping across in front of him. He would wake me up if you want to pray Witr. [Agreed upon].

Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam called on his followers to pray night and suggested that a husband and wife should help each other in doing it. To the extent that the wife may be the best way to use it, by sprinkling water on his face! and vice versa. Abu Huraira Allaah anhu narrated a hadeeth from the Prophet that he said:

رحم الله رجلا قام من الليل فصلى وأيقظ امرأته فصلت فإن أبت نضح في وجهها الماء, رحم الله امرأة قامت من الليل فصلت وأيقظت زوجها فصلى فإن أبى نضحت في وجهه الماء

May God have mercy on Subhanaahu wa Ta'ala a husband who wakes up at night to pray night and wake his wife to pray together. When the wife was reluctant, he splashed water on her face (to build). "May God have mercy on Subhanaahu wa Ta'ala a wife who wakes up at night to pray night and then woke her husband to pray together. When the husband is reluctant, he splashed water on his face (to build). [Reported by Ahmad].

Keep You look!
Among the factors supporting the creation of a harmonious atmosphere is always keeping up appearances. Let a husband or wife is always keeping up appearances respectively. Avoid the untidy appearance and odor. Attention to the appearance of a Muslim lahiriyah as a complement to his inner purity is one form of personal perfection. In this regard the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam is the best example. He was a born saint and the mind, he loved the scent and Siwak and he recommends people to it. ل laihi Messenger of Allaah wa sallam said:

كان رسول الله إذا قام من النوم يشوص فاه بالسواك

If not bother my people, will undoubtedly commanded them to bersiwak each time to pray. [Reported by Muslim]

Hudhayfah Allaah anhu said:

كان رسول الله إذا قام من النوم يشوص فاه بالسواك.

The Messenger of Allaah wa Sallam ل laihi regular brushing his teeth with Siwak each riser. [H.R Muslim].

Syuraih ibn Hani 'saying: "I once asked' Aisha radhiallahu 'anha:' What's the first thing you do the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam entered his house every time?" 'Aisha radhiallahu' anha replied: "He started with bersiwak." [HR Muslim].

How great is his attention to cleanliness! he prepared as best as possible to meet the family.

He always read a prayer each time entering the house, as follows:

بسم الله ولجنا, و بسم الله خرجنا, وعلى ربنا توكلنا, ثم يسلم على أهله

In the Name of Allah we enter (the house), and the name of Allah we come out (of it), and to our Lord, our sole trust. Then he said good-bye to his family. [Abu Dawud]

O my brother all the leaders of the household, bahagiakanlah family with a clean appearance and greeting when they meet. Thou shalt not replace it with insults, curses and yelling. Create harmony in your household and make your home as a haven for you, for your wives and your children!

[Copied from the magazine edition of As-Sunnah Foundation Published 06/Tahun VI/1423H/2002M Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Jl. Solo - Purwodadi Km. 8 Selokaton Gondangrejo Solo 57 183 Tel. 08121533647, 08157579296]

Households Facing Problem Solution Under Islamic Teachings

Islam has set the Shari'a contains various pearls of wisdom, guidance and solutions for a wide range of problems in marriage, so the husband and wife can enjoy a happy life together, and each of them feel calm and serene from all parties will realize the teachings of Islam.

Between the direction of Islam on the lives of the household is as follows:

A. Protects household of all things is the cause of thalak. Neither the cause came from the husband, wife, family or others who want to make the murky atmosphere of the household.

2. Before getting married should think very carefully and consult with an expert or have experience, must learn to do the best possible conditions for the prospective wife or husband and not just interested in the appearance of birth or good looks alone, resulting in a stunted view and do not touch the subject matter.

3. Consulted with others after getting married and quarrels and bickering between husband and wife.

4. Learn useful knowledge, pious charity, reading, listening to the news useful, murattal tapes and religious speech that could increase the quality and the quality of belief in Allah, and not get carried away by the corrupt culture and moral reproach, to be patient and steadfast in the face various arbitrary attitude and neglect of domestic rights of each party, because they will be replaced by Allah with something better.

5. If there are people who are not familiar with religious ethics and morals so that the displaced of their rights, can not be grateful for favors and gifts, then it should be prudent and wise for the benefit of future households, not to appear different forms of improper actions that could undermine the integrity of the house ladder.

6. Taking lessons from the events of divorce cases and other people, learn a variety of causes and factors that lead to divorce dispute, because the people who are happy are the people who take lessons from the events of others, and the wretched people are taking lessons from the events that befall oneself .

7. Be willingly to accept the flaws and weaknesses of each and try to foster a sense of compassion and forgiving attitude. And all those who asked for forgiveness immediately let forgiveness, so that the liver re-lighted and clear of feeling irritated, annoyed and jealous.

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said.

ألا أخبركم بنسائكم في الجنة? قلنا بلى يا رسول الله, قال ودود ولود غضبت أو أسي إليها أو غضب زوجها قالت هذه يدي في يدك لا أكتحل بغمض حتى ترضى

"Will I khabarkan to you about your wife who is in heaven? We said, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "She is a woman who is very clever to have children to love again, when you are angry or being upset or angry then her husband He said: This is the hand I put it in your hand and I'm not going to close my eyes before you pleased me. "[HR At Thabrani].

8. A person's belief that he was always on the right side so it does not try to find flaws and mistakes, and always see the lack of other angry and unwilling to accept advice and guidance to others, always trying to defend themselves or attack the other party, then such dispute opens the door and reluctant to fight and make peace.

9. Before getting married to a woman should look dilamarnya because such facilities as bridges and foster a sense of love and affection with strangers.

Of Mughirah bin Syu'bah that he proposed marriage to one woman the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to him.

أنظرت إليها? قال: لا قال: أنظر إليها فإنه أجدر أن ييؤدم بينكما

"Have you seen it? He said," No. "He said," Look at him, because that would make a lasting between you two. " [HR Nasa'i, Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah and dihasankan by Tirmidhi]

10. For people who want to get married should be careful in finding a soul mate to find a candidate who is really good according to his expectations, so as to realize a peaceful life, happy and peaceful. If either party arising out of hatred is not a quick verdict because behind the shortage thalak God willing there is an excess, as the words of the Prophet.

لا يفرك مؤمن مؤمنة إن كره منها خلقا رضي منها آخر أو قال غيره

"Do not be a believer to a mukminah hate, because if one hates to be willing to temper it with another character or another, he said." [Reported by Muslim].

11. If a husband wants to have a noble wife, a heart filled with love, always responsive and rather ornate for my husband, he should also behave like that so affected his heart and always put respect.

12. Distance themselves from the view of the forbidden, because that implies an arrow that could plunge the devil himself to the unlawful act, or the husband and wife are not happy and humbled that strife and contention arise.

13. Number could be because all forms of destruction and disaster household, because it brings her slowly drift into the damage and slander, to dare to leave the house as he pleased without being watched and monitored, and without the company of a mahram when going to the market or the hospital or the other, to arises calamities and disasters that befall human beings either male or female.

14. Be reasonable in watching his wife and always take the middle road between spying and being anxious and inattentive attitude and jealousy among the blind.

15. Intimacy, happiness and peace of life with a husband and wife is one of the most expensive and no one can match even with parents and families. With all the problems of mental capital and mental disorders as a result of loneliness away from family can be remedied. A girl should never reject the proposal of men who fit and fit well in terms of religion, morals and character.

16. A wife must be kind and put compassion to the families and relatives of the husband because it's such a part of doing good to her husband so that her husband's love deepened.

17. Harm or disturb the attitude of households either the husband or wife as a sign of loss of adab muru'ah and could damage the popularity and good name of the culprit, so he became a hated and shunned both from the people near, the distant, neighbors and close friends .

18. Including the step turn sunnah salafus pious companions and parents should apply for the pious young daughter and help ease the burden of wedding expenses, as a history of Umar, he said, "I came to Uthman bin Affan to offer Hafsah then he said," I will think about it ". I (Umar) to wait for a few nights ago he met with me and he said," For a while I have no desire to get married. "Umar said," I met Abu Bakr As Siddiq and I said kepadnya, "If you agree then I'm going to Hafsah bint Umar married you. Abu Bakr was silent and did not answer anything. I hold feelings of Abu Bakr and Uthman as I waited for a few nights after the Messenger of applying Hafsah and I married her to him. Then I met Abu Bakr and he said, "Perhaps you are upset with me when you offered Hafsah but I did not give me any answers." Umar said, "I said," Yes. "Abu Bakr said," No I do not want to respond to your offer, but I already know that the Messenger never called and I did not want to spread the secret of the Prophet. If if the Prophet did not marry her then I'll take you up on it ". ([Bukhari].

19. Applying the teachings of Islam in order to maintain and preserve the unity of household and feels responsibility to the family of religious education.

From Ibn Umar that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said.

كلكم راع و كلكم مسؤول عن رعيته, و الأمير راع و الرجال راع على أهل بيته و المرأة راعية على بيت زوجها

"Each of you is a leader and will be held responsible for his leadership and leader adalan priests, and men are the leaders for their families, and women are responsible for the home her husband and children. And each of you is a leader and each of you will be held responsible his leadership ". [Bukhari].

20. Choosing a good neighbor and avoid bad tentangga, especially wives and children away because neighbors can greatly influence both in terms of good and evil. Messenger has been denying the faith of those who do not provide security to its neighbors, as the Prophet He sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

والله لا يؤمن والله لا يؤمن والله لا يؤمن, قيل من يا رسل الله? قال الذي يأمن جاره بوائقه

"By God he did not believe, for he did not believe in God and by God he did not believe. Asked: Who is the Messenger of Allah? He said," People who do not feel safe with her neighbors. " [Bukhari and Muslim].

Expert wisdom says, "Choose the first neighbors, new homes".

21. When a wife is disobedient, rebellious and behave worse then the husband may use his power in accordance with the provisions of Shari'a as follows:
The first step, to give good advice.
The second step, if not willing to accept advice so he can lift a mediator to reconcile the parties being disputed as the word of God.

والاتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن واهجروهن في المضاجع واضربوهن فإن أطعنكم فلا تبغوا عليهن سبيلا إن الله كان عليا كبيرا, وإن خفتم شقاق بينهما فابعثوا حكما من أهله وحكما من أهلهآ إن يريدآ إصلاحا يوفق الله بينهمآ إن الله كان عليما خبيرا,

"The women that you worried about the nusyuznya then Advise Advise them and separate them in their sleep termpat, and beat them. Then if they mentaatimu, so do not look for a way to troubling. Surely Allah is High, Great. And if you worry there is dispute between the two, then send an Hakam family man and a Hakam Hakam and a family of women. If two people intend to repair it Hakam Allah the Source of strength to her husband's wife. Surely Allah is Knower, Knowing ". [An Nisa ':34-35].

22. Although Islam gives men the power to impose sanctions for the wife, but Islam also gave a stern warning to men not to abuse that power, and avoid the blow as much as possible sanctions. The Prophet was asked, "Do the right of the husband and wife?" So he sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said.

أن تطعمها إذا طعمت و تكسوها إذا اكتسيت و لا تضرب الوجه و لا تقبح و لا تهجر إلا في البيت

"If you give him food to eat, when you give him clothes to dress, do not hit the face, do not criticize and do not be silent except at home." [Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah].

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam also said:

يعمد أحدكم فيجلد امرأته جلد العبد, فلعله يضاجعها من آخر يومه

"Among you there is a deliberate whack whack his wife like a slave and then slept with him at the end of the day". [HR Agreed alaih].
(Um Ahmad Rifqi)

[Copied from the Sunnah magazine 06/Tahun VII/1424H/2004M- 2003M Edition. Foundation published Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Jl. Solo - Solo Gondangrejo Purwodadi Km.8 Selokaton 57 183 Tel. 0271-761016]

Ways Towards tips Sakinah Family

Yazid ibn Abd al-Qadir Ustadz Jawas

Islam has provided a complete and detailed instructions on the issue of marriage. Starting from the suggestion to marry, how to choose an ideal partner, do khitbah (a proposal), how to educate children, as well as provide a way out if there was chaos in the household, until the process nafaqah (giving a living) and the estate, all governed by Islam in detail , and vivid detail.

Furthermore, to understand the concept of marriage in Islam, the referral of the most true and valid is the Qur'an and Sunnah in accordance with the Ash Saheehah Salafush understanding Salih. Based on this referral, we will get clarity on aspects of marriage, as well as some distortion and a shift in the value of marriage is going on in our society.

Marriage is a human nature, and therefore Islam advocate for marriage, because marriage is gharizah insaniyah (human instinct). Subhanhu Allah wa Ta'ala says:

فأقم وجهك للدين حنيفا فطرة الله التي فطر الناس عليها لا تبديل لخلق الله ذلك الدين القيم ولكن أكثر الناس لا يعلمون

"Then with a straight face hadapkanlah to religion (God), (still above) the nature of God has created man's nature. There is no change in the nature of God. (That's) straight religion, but most people do not know". [Ar Rum: 30].

Encourage Islamic Marriage
Appreciation of Islam against the marriage bond once, Allah mentions a strong bond.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says:

وكيف تأخذونه وقد أفضى بعضكم إلى بعض وأخذن منكم ميثاقا غليظا

"... And they (the wives) have been taken from you a strong agreement". [An-Nisa: 21].

To the extent that the bond is set equal to half of the religion. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam has said:

إذا تزوج العبد, فقد استكمل نصف الدين, فليتق الله فيما بقي

"Whoever got married, then he has completed half of his religion. And let him maintain a pious to God in the other half". [1]

Muslims Do not Like the single
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam commanded to marry and forbade the people who do not want to get married. Anas bin Malik rahimahullah said: "The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam told us to get married and single with restrictions prohibit us hard." He sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam said:

تزوجوا الودود الولود, فإني مكاثر بكم الأمم

"Marry women who are fertile and loving. Because I would berbanggga with many of my people in front of the peoples". [2]

Once upon a time, three friends of g come to ask the wives of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam about the worship He sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam. Then once explained, each wanting to enhance their worship. One of them said: "As for me, will be fasting all the time without a break". Another friend said: "As I would stay away from her, I will not marry forever ....". When it was heard by the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, he came out as he said:

"أنتم الذين قلتم كذا وكذا? أما والله إني لأخشاكم لله وأتقاكم له, ولكني أصوم وأفطر وأصلى وأرقد وأتزوج النساء, فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني."

"Did you guys have said so and so? It's for the sake of Allah, verily I am the most scared and pious to God among you, but I fast and I break, I pray and I sleep well and I also marry women. Whoever does not like sunnahku, it does not include golonganku ". [3]

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala ordered to get married. And if they are needy, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will help to provide sustenance to them. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala promises a relief to the people who are married, in a word:

وأنكحوا الأيامى منكم والصالحين من عبادكم وإمائكم إن يكونوا فقراء يغنهم الله من فضله والله واسع عليم. "

"And nikahkanlah the people who alone among you and the people who deserve (get married) from sahayamu servants are men and women. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them with grace. And Allah Area (the gift) again All-Knowing ". [An Nuur: 32].

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam reinforce the promise of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala with his saying:

ثلاثة حق على الله عونهم المجاهد في سبيل الله, والمكاتب الذي يريد الاداء و الناكح الذي يريد العفاف

"There are three classes of human beings who deserve God's help. That is, the mujahid fi sabilillah, who redeemed himself a slave to freedom, and people who get married because they want to preserve his honor". [4]

A. To Meet the Demands of Man The Human Instinct
Marriage is a human nature, it is a legitimate way to meet this requirement is to aqad marriage (through marriage), not in a dirty and disgusting, such as the ways people today are with dating, cohabiting, prostitution, adultery, lesbian, gay, and others who have strayed and are forbidden by Islam.

2. For Fortifying Akhlaq Majesty
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج فإنه أغض للبصر و أحصن للفرج و من لم يستطع فعليه با لصوم فإنه له وجاء

"O, young people! Those of you capable of wedlock, then nikahlah, because marriage is more his gaze, and further fortify vagina (pubic). And whoever is not able, let him fast (shaum), because it can fortify shaum him ". [5]

3. To Enforce the Islamic Household
Mentioned in the Koran, that Islam justifies the THALAQ (divorce), if the husband and wife are no longer able to enforce the limits of Allaah, as Allaah says in the following verse: "THALAQ (which can dirujuki) twice. Once again it may refer to the way of doing good or by way of a good divorce. not lawful for you to take back from something that you have given them, unless both fear that they will not be able to execute the laws of God . If you fear that they (husband and wife) can not execute the laws of Allah, there is no blame on either of them given by the wife paid to redeem himself. That the laws of Allah, then do not break them. Those who violate the law -the law of God, they are the ones that wrongdoers ". [Al Baqarah: 229].

So the noble purpose of marriage is to implement Islamic law spouses in the household. Enforcement of domestic laws based on Islamic law is mandatory. Therefore, every Muslim and Muslimah should try to establish an Islamic household. Islamic teachings have provided some of the criteria of an ideal potential partner, in order to form an Islamic household. Among the criteria is that it should kafa'ah and shalihah.

Kafa'ah According to the Islamic concept
Kafa'ah (par, equal) according to Islam is only measured by the quality of faith and piety and morality of a person, not measured by social status, descent and others.

O mankind, We created you from a male and a female and made you nations and tribes that ye may know each other-know. Verily the noblest among you in Allah's sight are those of the most pious among you. Surely Allah is Knower, Aware. [Al Hujurat: 13].

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

تنكح المرأة لا ربع: لمالها ولحسبها و لجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك

"A woman is married for four things. Because of his wealth, his descendants, beauty, and religion. Then let you select a devout religious woman (all Islamannya), surely you will be lucky". [6]

Choosing The shalihah
People who want to marry, to choose a woman who shalihah, as well as women need to choose a righteous man. He said:

الخبيثات للخبيثين والخبيثون للخبيثات والطيبات للطيبين والطيبون للطيبات أولائك مبرءون مما يقولون لهم مغفرة ورزق كريم

"... And good women for good men and good men for good women too ..." [An Nuur: 26].

According to the Qur'an, a woman who shalihah are:

فالصالحات قانتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله

"Women who shalihah obey God is a longer maintain themselves if the husband does not exist, as God has kept (them)". [An-Nisa: 34].

According to the Qur'an and the authentic Hadith, among the characteristics of women who shalihah is:

a. To obey Allaah and obey the Messenger sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
b. Obey the husband and the husband to maintain his honor at the moment or not there, as well as keeping her husband's property.
c. Maintain the five prayers on time.
d. Implement fasting during Ramadan.
e. Many Sadaqah with the permission of her husband.
f. Wearing the veil that covers the entire private parts and not to show off the beauty (tabarruj) as her ignorance (Al Ahzab: 33).
g. And do not talk alone with a man who is not mahram, because the three are satan.
h. Do not accept guests who are not liked by her husband.
i. To obey the parents in his favor.
j. Do good to his neighbor according to the shari'ah.
k. Educate their children with Islamic education.

If these criteria are met, God willing, an Islamic household will be realized.

4. To Increase To Worship God
Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

.. وفي بضع أحدكم صدقة قالوا: يا رسول الله, أيأتي أحدنا شهوته ويكون له فيها أجر? قال: أرأيتم لو وضعها في الحرام, أكان عليه فيها وزر? فكذلك إذا وضعها في الحلال كان له أجرا ...

"... And the husband-wife relationship one of you is charity! Hearing words of the Prophet, his companions surprised and asked:" O, Messenger of Allah. Is one of our satisfying syahwatnya (biological needs) to his wife to be rewarded? "The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:" What do you think, if they (the husbands) in addition to copulate with his wife, are not they guilty? "Answer the Companions : "Yeah, right". He said again: "So it is when they have intercourse with his wife (in a halal), they will get the reward!" [7]

5. The Offspring To Acquire Salih
Purpose of such marriages is to preserve and develop the Children of Adam, as Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala:

والله جعل لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا وجعل لكم من أزواجكم بنين وحفدة ورزقكم من الطيبات أفبالباطل يؤمنون وبنعمة الله هم يكفرون

"God has made of the selves you were a married couple and has given you from your wives, the children and grandchildren, and give you a good fortune. Will they believe in the falsehood and deny the favors of Allah "[An-Nahl: 72].

The most important thing in marriage is not just a baby, but trying to find a quality and form generation, which is looking for a righteous son and devoted to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. As Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala:

وابتغوا ما كتب الله لكم

"... And seek what Allah has ordained for you (the child)". [Al Baqarah: 187].

The meaning of this verse, "let you interfere with your wife and try to have children". [8]

1.Khitbah (a proposal)
A Muslim man who would marry a Muslim, he should propose first, because it is possible he was the groom by others. In this case Islam forbids a Muslim woman who was the groom proposed by others.

2. Aqad Marriage
In marriage there are some requirements aqad, pillars and obligations that must be met:
-. The presence of both consensual bride.
-. The existence of consent qabul.
-. The existence of a dowry
-. The existence of guardian.
-. The presence of witnesses.

3. Walimah
Walimatul 'urusy (wedding) is obligatory and be simple and should be invited well in walimah poor people. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

أولم ولوبشاة ...

"Selenggarakanlah walimah even if only by slaughtering a goat". [9]

A. Courtship.
2. Exchange rings.
3. Dowry demands are high.
4. Following the ceremonies.
5. Shaving the beard for men and women shave the eyebrows.
6. Confidence in the good days and bad luck in determining the time of marriage.
7. Utter ignorance of the ala of congratulations.
8. The existence ikhtilath (mixing, mingling between men and women).
9. Music, singing and other violations.

Let us strive to implement the Islamic marriage and establish an Islamic household, and we tried to leave the rules, know-how, ceremonies and customs that are contrary to Islam. Do not imitate the ways of unbelievers and people are a lot of sin and sinners.

Prompts Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam to marry contains a variety of benefits, as described by scholars, including:
A. Can lower his gaze,
2. Honor will be maintained.
3. Preserved genitalia of various immoral.
4. Will be helped and facilitated by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
5. Can keep the lust, which is one reason he is guaranteed to get into heaven.
5. Bring peace in life.
6. Sakinah family will materialize, mawaddah wa Rahmah, as Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala:

ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون

"And among the signs of Allah, is that He created for you wives from jenismu own, so you tend to be and feel at ease to him. And maketh any of you feel the love and affection. Verily in this is truly there are signs for people who think ". [Ar Rum: 21].

7. Will get a righteous offspring.
8. Married may be because increasing numbers of the ummah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

There are some Muslims who have married and endowed by God a child or two children, then they restrict the birth, did not want to have more children with a variety of reasons syar'i. Their actions have violated Islamic law. Fatwas Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah scholars have explained clearly, that restrict the birth or the other term "family planning", the law is unlawful.

Indeed many children's many benefits. Among the benefits to many children and descendants, are:
A. In the world they will help each other in good deeds.
2. They will help ease the burden on parents.
3. Their prayers will be a charity benefit when their parents can no longer do good (have died).
4. If ditaqdirkan by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala children died as a child, God willing, he will be syafa'at (helper) for the parents later in the afterlife.
5. Children will be the hijab (limiting) him with the fire of hell, when the parents were able to make their children as children who worships and shalihah.
6. With so many children, will make one of the reasons for the victory of the Muslims as jihad fi echoed sabilillah, because there are so many.
7. Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam proud of the number of his followers are many. If a Muslim love of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, then let him follow the wishes of the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam to reproduce the boy, as he sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam proud of the number of his people on the Day of Resurrection.

If no children
If ditaqdirkan Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, a husband and wife were married for so long, but have not been blessed with children, then he should not despair of the mercy of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Should he continue to pray as the Prophet Ibrahim and Zakaria Alaihissallam Alaihissallam have prayed to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, until Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala grant their prayer. And should be patient and accepting with making up 'and Qadr that Allah set, and believe that all that there is a silver lining.

Please blessed prayer and righteous offspring who both found in the Qur'an, namely:

رب هب لي من الصالحين

"Yes my Lord, Grant me (a child) which includes a righteous people". [Ash Shaafat: 100]
ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إماما

"Our Lord, Grant us our wives and our offspring as penyenang liver (us), and make us priests to those who fear Him". [Al Furqaan: 74].

رب لا تذرني فردا وأنت خير الوارثين

"Yes my Lord, do not let me live by myself, and thou art the best warits". [Al Anbiyaa: 89].

L I hope God gives the righteous descendant of the couples that have not been blessed with children.

Among the obligations and rights are as contained in the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam of Haidah friend Muawiyah ibn Mu'awiyah ibn Ka'b bin Al Qusyairy Allaah' anhu [10], he said: I have been asked , "O Messenger of Allah, what is the right of a wife to be met by her husband?" The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

أن تطعمها إذا طعمت وتكسوها إذا اكتسيت ولا تضرب الوجه ولا تقبح ولا تهجر إلا في البيت

A. You feed him when you eat,
2. Thou shalt give him clothes to dress,
3. Thou shalt not hit her face, and
4. Thou shalt not menjelek-jelekkannya, and
5. But thou shalt not leave him in the house (do not split the bed but in the house). [11]

Teaching the Science of Religion
In addition to the above rights be fulfilled by a husband, a husband must also teach the teachings of Islam to his wife.

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says:

ياأيها الذين آمنوا قوا أنفسكم وأهليكم نارا وقودها الناس والحجارة عليها ملائكة غلاظ شداد لا يعصون الله ما أمرهم ويفعلون ما يؤمرون

"O ye who believe, guard yourselves and your families from hell fire fuel (made of) men and stones, is the guardian angels of the rough hard again, who did not disobey (orders) of God in what He commands them and always do what they're told ". [At Tahrim: 6].

For this reason, the husband's obligation to equip themselves with studying syar'i (thalabul 'ilmi) to attend the assemblies that teach the science of the Qur'an and Sunnah in accordance with the understanding Salafush generation best-Salih, who received assurance from God - so with these provisions, attacked her husband could teach it to his wife, children and their families. If he can not teach them, a husband and wife must take their studies and attend syar'i taklim assemblies that teach about aqeedah, tawheed mengikhlaskan religion to God, and teaches about purity, ablution ', prayers, and other manners.

To the wife obedience to her husband.
After the guardians (parents) the wife submit to her husband, then the obligation of obedience to the husband becomes the top right that must be met, after Meekly duty to Allaah and His Messenger sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. As the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:

لو كنت آمرا أحدا أن يسجد لأ حد لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها

"I suppose I should have a bow to someone, then I will command a woman prostrate to her husband". [12]

The wife must obey her husband, in doing good things (containing the good in terms of religion), for example, when ordered to prayer, fasting, wearing Muslim clothing, attend assemblies science, and other forms of commands as long as not contrary to the shari'ah 'at. This is what it will bring heaven to them, as the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:

إذا صلت المرأة خمسها, وصامت شهرها, وحصنت فرجها, وأطاعت بعلها, دخلت من أي أبواب الجنة شاءت

"When a woman working on a five-time prayers, fasting in Ramadan, keeping his cock, keeping his honor and obey her husband, surely he would go to heaven of heavens door anywhere that he wants". [13]

Many wives should be grateful And Not Much Demand.
This command is very much emphasized in Islam, even Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will not see it on the Day of Judgment, when his wife to her husband demanding and ungrateful to him.

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

أريت النار, فإذا أكثر أهلها النساء. يكفرن. قيل: أيكفرن بالله? يكفرن العشير, ويكفرن الإحسان, لو أحسنت إلى إحداهن الدهر, ثم رأت منك شيئا, قالت: ما رأيت منك خيرا قط

"I am shown hell and saw most of the inhabitants of hell are women." Friend said: "For that which makes them the most widely inhabit the hell?" The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The cause of kufr". Companions asked: 'Was it because their disbelief in God? "The Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam said:" (Not), they told her husband and their Kufr Kufr to the good. If one of you guys do good husband to his wife for a year, then his wife saw something bad to her husband, then she said 'I never see the good in you ". [14]

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

لاينظر الله إلى امرأة لاتشكر لزوجها وهي لا تستغني عنه

"Verily Allah will not look to a woman who is not grateful to her husband, and he always demanded (could not get enough)". [15]

Taxpayer's wife told her husband Doing Good
Act of charity (either) a husband must be rewarded also with actions similar or better. Wife should be submissive to her husband and fulfill the mandate to take care of their children according to the noble Islamic Shari'a. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has been obliged to take care of herself for her husband, taking care of the household, taking care of her children.

Advice To Husband-Wife
A. Fear of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in the state together or alone, at home and outside the home.
2. Shall enforce obedience to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and maintain the boundaries of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in the family.
3. Carry out obligations to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and ask Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Man is obliged to pray five times a day at the mosque in congregation. And instructed the children to pray on time.
4. Upholding the sunnah prayers, especially prayers tonight.
5. Expand the dhikr of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Please read the Qur'an every day, especially Surat al-Baqara. Also read the prayer and remembrance that have been taught by Rasululah sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Remember, that the devil does not like the whole household and the devil is always trying suamiisteri scatters. And teach children to read the Qur'an and dhikr.
6. Be patient on the plight and give thanks to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any pleasure.
7. Constantly introspecting between husband and wife. Encouraging each other, mutual help and mema'afkan and pray. Do not be selfish and prestige.
8. Devoted to both parents.
9. Educating children to be children who are righteous, teach about aqeedah, worship and true and noble morals.
10. Keep your children from harmful media aqeedah and morals.

O my husband!
A. What is against you, O servants of Allah, to smile in front of your wife when you get to see him, so you reap the rewards from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala?!!
2. What a burden for the bright-faced when you see the wife and children?!! You will be rewarded?!!
3. What is so difficult when you get into the house with the perfect greeting, "Assalamu warahmatullahi wabarakatuh" so you get good thirty?!!
4. What will happen to you about if you say to your wife with a good word, so he meridhaimu, even in speech is a little bit forced?!!
5. Have trouble-O servant of Allah, if you pray: "O Allah! Amend your wife, and give her blessing. "
6. Do you know that soft speech is Sadaqah?!!

O my wife!
A. Is the trouble, if you meet your husband when he entered the house with a bright face, smiling sweetly?!!
2. Berhiaslah to your husband and go for a reward from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, Allah is beautiful and loves beauty, use perfume! Bercelaklah! Dress with a beautiful dress that you have to greet your husband. Remember, do not ever grim and sullen-faced you in front of him.
3. Be thou a wife who has gracefully nature, calm and always remember to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala under all circumstances.
4. Educate your children well, fill your home with a rosary, Takbir, and multiply tahlil tahmid and read the Qur'an, especially Sura Baqarah, because the letter could evict satan
5. Bangunkanlah husband for the evening prayer, he anjurkanlah to fast sunnah and remind him again about the virtues of berinfak, and do not forbid to bersilaturahim.
6. Expand seek forgiveness for you, your husband, your parents, and all the Muslims, and berdo'alah always to be descendants of the righteous and the good of the world and the hereafter acquire, But know that your Lord hears prayer. As Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala:

وقال ربكم ادعوني أستجب لكم

"And your Lord says:" Berdo'alah to Me, surely I will grant to you ". [Al-Mu'min: 60].

Female leadership Top Women
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says:

الرجال قوامون على النساء بما فضل الله بعضهم على بعض وبما أنفقوا من أموالهم فالصالحات قانتات حافظات للغيب بما حفظ الله واللاتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن واهجروهن في المضاجع واضربوهن فإن أطعنكم فلا تبغوا عليهن سبيلا إن الله كان عليا كبيرا

"The man is a leader for women, because Allah has preferred sebahagian their (male) on sebahagian another (female), and because they (men) have been spend of their property. Therefore, the it is a righteous woman who obey Allah preserve self again when her husband was not there, because God has kept (them). Women nusyuznya that you fear, then admonish them and separate them in their beds, and beat them . Then if they menta'atimu, so do not look for a way to troubling. Allah Most High and Most Great ". [An-Nisa: 34].

The husband as head of the household must provide a good example in carrying out its responsibilities, because Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will question it at the end of day.

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

كلكم راع, وكلكم مسؤول عن رعيته, والأمير راع, والرجل راع على أهل بيته, والمرأة راعية على بيت زوجها وولده, ألا فكلكم راع وكلكم مسؤول عن رعيته

"You all are the leader, and you all are responsible for those they lead. A Amir (King) is a leader, a man was the leader of the family, and women are also the leader of the house of her husband and her children, remember that you all are leader and you all will be asked to account for his leadership ". [17]

A husband must strive earnestly to become a righteous husband, by studying the religious sciences, understand and implement and practice what is commanded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and His Messenger sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, and keep away from each of which is prohibited by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and His Messenger sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Then he took and led his wife to do so as well, so that children will imitate their parents, because the nature of children do tend to imitate anything around him.

A. Educate children in ways good and patient, so that they know and love Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, who created it and the whole universe, to know and love the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam, that he found himself in the noble role models, and in order for them to know and understand Islam practiced.

2. At an early age (around 2-3 years), we teach them good sentences, and reading the Quran, as exemplified by the Companions and the generation and tabi'ut tabi'in tabi'in, so many of them who had memorized the Qur'an at a very young age.

3. The attention to prayer should be a top priority for parents to their children.

4. Attention of parents to their children also in terms of akhlaqnya, and who should be the main emphasis is morality (filial) to parents.

5. Also keep in mind his social friends, because it could be a bad influence of friends will impact on child behavior and morality.

6. Besides, efforts are being made to make his wife a shalihah wife, the husband should also say a prayer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala at times the efficacious (terkabulkannya prayer time), as the last third of the night, so his family made a righteous family and household are given sakinah, mawaddah wa Rahmah, as set forth in prayer in the Qur'an:

والذين يقولون ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إماما

"And those who pray:" O Allah, Grant us, our wives, our descendants as penyenang our hearts and make us priests to those who fear Him ". [Al-Furqan: 74].

At the very least, a husband should be a role model in his family, respected by his wife and children, then they become the servants of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala who worships and shalihah, devoted to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

This is the tips that should be a Muslim and Muslim families do to make sakinah. Wallaahu a'lam shawab bish.

A. 'Isyratun Nisa', Imam Ahmad bin Abu Abdirrahman Syu'aib bin 'Ali An-Nasa i, tahqiq and ta'liq' Amir 'Ali' Umar, Cet. Maktabah As Sunnah, Cairo, Th. 1408 H.
2. Adabuz Zifaf Phys Sunnah Al Muthahharah, ta'lif (work) Shaykh Muhammad al-Albani Nashiruddin, Cet. Daarus Salam, Th. 1423 H.
3. FII-ul Irwaa Ghaliil Takhriji Ahaadits Manaaris Sabil, Shaykh Muhammad al-Albani Nashiruddin. Cet. Al Maktab al-Islami.
4. Al Insyirah FII Adaabin Marriage, ta'lif Abu Ishaq Al Huwaini Al Atsari, Cet. II, Dar al-Kitab Al Arabi, Th. 1408 H.
5. Fiqhut Ta'aamul Baina Zaujaini Az Wa Min Baitin Qabasat Nubuwwah, ta'lif Shaykh Mustafa Abu Abdillah bin Al-'Adawi, Cet. I, Darul Qasim, 1417 H.
6. Tuhfatul 'Flow, Sheikh Mahmud Mahdi al Istanbuli.
7. Adaabul Khitbah Sunnah Wa Al Muthahharah Zifaaf Fis, ta'lif 'Amr' Abdul Mun'im Salim, Cet. I, Daarudh Dhiyaa ', Th. 1421 H.

[Copied from As-Sunnah magazine Special Edition / Year VIII/1425H/2004M. Publishers Foundation Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Jl. Solo-Solo Purwodadi Km.8 Selokaton Gondangrejo 57 183 Tel. 0271-7574821]

The cause of weakening of Interwoven Silaturrahim

Muhammad bin Ibrahim Al Hamd

Ties with family and should always be tight and close. A wide range of potential symptoms should be anticipated merenggangkannya quickly, so harmonious relationship is maintained, strong warm again. All members of the family will enjoy because of the grace of Him who upholds the ties is emphasized by the Shari'a.

On the contrary, disregard for family ties would be a negative impact. The reason, ties will gradually stretch run. Termination of an impact to erode solidarity ties, inviting anathema, the outpouring of grace and inhibiting the proliferation of selfishness grow.

Often heard in the various cases of rupture Silaturrahim rope with its various forms. Upon termination of this Silaturrahim, Islam is very clear threat. He said:

فهل عسيتم إن توليتم أن تفسدوا في الأرض وتقطعوا أرحامكم. أولئك الذين لعنهم الله فأصمهم وأعمى أبصارهم

"So what would you charge if you will make mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship? They are the ones who dila'nati God and God tulikan butakan their ears and their vision of God". [Muhammad :22-23].

Words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

لا يدخل الجنة قاطع

"It will not enter Paradise who decide silaturrahmi". [Bukhari and Muslim 5984 2556].

Many factors can trigger termination Silaturrahim rope. But the ignorance of someone about it, make it fall into the error.

Prompts for fostering ties are very clear. Ibn al-Athir as described, do good relationship is a reflection of the immediate family, prostrate-gently to them, pay attention to their situation better when they are in a remote area and when they asked her ugliness. Terminate a Silaturrahim an act contrary to it all.

However, the phenomenon of string breaking silaturrahmi often heard in the community, especially lately, when materialism dominate. Each visit and counsel are in point of concern. The right of this one family has been neglected, do not get the attention they deserve. Though the distance was no longer an obstacle in the era of information technology advances.

Among the concrete examples silaturrahmi termination form that appears in the community are:

A. The absence of a visit to his relatives in the long term, do not give gifts, do not try to grab the hearts of his family, did not help cover the needs or address the suffering of their relatives. What happened, it hurt her relatives by word or deed.

2. Never turn the spirit of kinship and sepenanggungan in joy and sorrow. In fact, others who put forward rather than helping her family.

3. Spend more time preaching to others rather than busy with his own family. In fact, they are more entitled to the good. God said to His Prophet:

وأنذر عشيرتك الأقربين

"And give warning to the nearest kin-kin". [Asy Syu'ara: 214]

4. There are also people who want to make a bond silaturrahmi, if the family silaturrahmi connect with him. But he would mengurainya, if they decide.

As already noted, that many things that can cause the breaking of silaturrahmi, among which are:

A. The danger of ignorance Deciding silaturrahmi Tali.
Ignorance is one of the bad consequences that will be suffered in this life or the next due to decide silaturrahmi, has caused it to break this silaturrahmi. As well as one's ignorance about the virtues of silaturrahmi, make him lazy and lacking the spirit to do it.

2. That weakens piety.
The man who fell piety and religion, then he will not care about the actions that cut something that should be connected. He was never tempted by the promised reward silaturrahmi God and not fear the result of this silaturrahmi pemutuskan.

3. Pride.
Some people, if you've got a high position or a great merchant, he turned to his close family proud. He was considered a disgrace to the family shrine, as well as win the heart of their business, regarded as a disgrace. Because he could see, only he's more entitled to diziarahi and visited.

4. The Long Farewell.
There are also people who cut off communication with her family in a long time, so he felt alienated from them. At first he was put off-delay pilgrimage, and it continues to be repeated until disconnect them. He too used to the cut off and enjoy the situation is far from the family.

5. Reproach Weight
There are some people, when visited by some members of his family after so long apart, her brother showered with insults and taunts it. As judged lacking in fulfilling their rights and assessed late in the visit. As a result, the willingness of people away from this censorious and fear for menziarahinya again for fear of reproach.

6. Incriminating
Some people, when visited by relatives of his family, he seemed to welcome him to burden excessively. The release of many wealth and force yourself to honor his guest, but he is less capable. As a result, his brothers find it hard to visit him for fear of distressing the host.

7. Noting the lack Pilgrims.
Some people, when visited by his brother, he did not show concern. He did not pay attention to what he said. Even sometimes when she turned to talk to. He was not happy with their arrival and ungrateful. He welcomed the pilgrims with a heavy heart and a cool reception. This would reduce the enthusiasm for the visit.

8. Stingy and miserly.
There are some people, if given by God in the form of property rizki or authority, he would run away from her family, not because he is arrogant. He prefers to stay away from them and decided silaturrahmi than open the door for the relatives, if they receive a visit, helping them according to ability and apologize if it can not help. In fact, what's property if it can not be felt by the relatives!

9. Inheritance division delay.
Sometimes there is not yet divided the estate among the heirs; either out of laziness or because there is a rebel. The longer the delay distribution of the estate, the more likely it will spread mutual enmity and hatred among them. Because there who want to get the rights to be exploited, there is also the heir he died so busy taking his right heirs of the deceased has not been taken, while others began prejudice to the other. Finally, this case becomes complicated and becomes disunity and chaos that resulted led to the termination silaturrahmi.

10. Close Cooperation Between Families.
Some people work with his brother in a business or PT without any clear agreement. Plus, in the absence of transparency. This business is built only based on consensual and mutual trust.

If the results are starting to grow and widen its business areas, the seed starts disputes, acts wrongdoers from the fore and began to arise prejudice to the other. Especially if they are less pious and does not have itsar properties (ie the nature of putting more of others than himself), or one of them stubborn or one of them is more capital than others.

From an unhealthy atmosphere, then the relationship deteriorated, the split was inevitable, and possibly tails to court. End up in court they denounce each other. He said:

وإن كثيرا من الخلطآء ليبغي بعضهم على بعض إلا الذين ءامنوا وعملوا الصالحات وقليل ماهم

"And indeed most of the people who organize some of them do it to some other wrongdoers, except those who believe and work righteous deeds, and how few they are". [Shaad: 24].

11. Busy With The World.
People who are greedy world seems not to have more time to connect silaturrahmi and to try to win the love of her relatives.

12. Thalak Between Relatives.
Thalak sometimes inevitable between husband and wife who have a family relationship. This caused many difficulties for both, whether caused by children or other matters that are closely related to thalak or other reasons.

13. Distances are far apart And Lazy Pilgrimage.
Sometimes there is a remote family homes and rarely visit each other, so it feels much with the families and relatives. If you wish to visit the relatives, who want to go where he feels very far away. Finally, rare pilgrimage.

14. Adjacent to the house.
Adjacent houses could also lead to cracking and breaking of silaturrahmi. Umar narrated from Allaah 'anhu, he said: "Command to the relatives to visit each other rather than adjacent to each other".

Umar Al-Ghazali was commenting on the words: "He said these words, because it could lead to competition right next door. Might even lead to resentment and disconnection silaturrahmi".

Aktsam bin Shaifi said: "Stay in a remote place, surely you will love each other more."

Sometimes also, the proximity is problematic. For example, a problem that occurs between children and can spread to involve the child's parents. Each defending his son, giving rise to hostility and lead to termination silaturrahmi.

15. Less Tolerance.
There are some people who have little patience with the small matter of her relatives. Sometimes just a small error is caused by, he immediately decided to take matters into silaturrahmi.

16. Have We Forgotten Relatives In Event.
When one of his relatives have walimah or other event, he invited his relatives, either verbally, by letter of invitation or by phone. When giving this invitation, there is sometimes a forgotten one of his relatives. While this forgotten souls are weak or prejudice. Then the weak-minded people who are interpreting this as a relative neglect and deliberate insult to him. This suspicion led him to decide silaturrahmi.

17. Or envy Envy.
Sometimes there are people who God bestowed her knowledge, prestige, wealth or love from others. With the grace of the bears, he helped his relatives and make them clear the chest. Because of this good deed, then any of her relatives who envy him. He planted the seeds of hostility, making other relatives doubted the sincerity of those who do good before, and then sow the seeds of hostility to the relatives who do this well.

18. Many joked.
Joke has some negative effects. Sometimes no words came out of a person without regard to the feelings of others who heard it. These words are painful and hateful to people who speak it. Facts like these are common among relatives because they often congregate.

Ibn Abd al-Baar said: "There is a group of scholars who hates excessive amusement. As a result of reprehensible, offensive self-esteem, can cause hostility and damage to ties of brotherhood".

19. Defamation.
Sometimes there are people who have a hobby damage relations between the kin-iyadzan billah. People like this are often infiltrated into the middle of the people who love each other. He wants to separate and scatter the unity, as well as disrupt the feelings of the heart that has been fused.

How much rope silaturrahmi disconnected, the union fell apart due to the slander.

And the biggest mistake in this matter, which is believed to slander. It would be wonderful words of a poet who reminds us:

Who is willing to listen to the words of slanderers,
then they are not left for the listener
A friend, even though my beloved relatives.

20. Some Bad temperament wife.
Sometimes a person is tested with a wife who behave badly. The wife does not want her husband's attention to the other divided. He kept trying to dissuade her husband so as not to make pilgrimages to the relatives. In front of husband, wife praised the arrival of their relatives to the residence of the husband and the husband to preclude a visit to relatives. Meanwhile, when receiving visits from relatives, he did not show a happy face. This includes things that can cause the breaking of silaturrahmi.

There is also a husband who handed over control to his wife. If the wife pleased to relatives, he silaturrahmi connect with them. If the wife is not pleased, then he will decide. Even to the point of submission to her husband in disobedience to his parents, when they need it most.

Similarly, a number of reasons that can break the string silaturrahmi. As believers, we should avoid things that can cause the breaking of the rope silaturrahmi this. therefore, let us keep silaturrahmi, nurture it, and seek the means which could be fortified, so as not eroded by the rapid flow of destroying culture. And Allaah knows best. (Editor)

[Copied from As-Sunnah magazine IX/1426/2005M 01/Tahun Edition. Publishers Foundation Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Jl. Solo-Solo Purwodadi Km.8 Selokaton Gondangrejo 57 183 Tel. 0271-761016]
[1]. Appointed from Ar Qathi'ati Mazhahiru Rahmi Al Al Al Asbabu Subulu Ilaji, by Muhammad ibn Ibrahim A Hamd, Publisher, Ministry of Religious Affairs, Endowments Da'wa and KSA, Cet. II, Th. 1423 H.

Sorgaku my house, Creating Families Reaching Ridha Islamic For Divine

Shaykh Salih ibn Abdullah ibn Al-Humaid

Most humans naturally crave happiness, tranquility and peace of the soul awaits. Of course also all trying to get away from the trigger down in the mouth and anxiety. Moreover in a family environment.

Remember, all this may not be realized except by faith in God, tawakal and return all the problems to him, in addition to a variety of business in accordance with Shari'a.

The most influential person and the community for the establishment of family and commitment to the truth. Allah Ta'ala in His wisdom has prepared a glorious place for humans to settle and live peacefully in it.

Allah Ta'ala says:

ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون

"And among His signs is His is He created for you wives from jenismu own, so you tend to be and feel at ease to him and made him among you a sense of compassion. Verily in this is truly there are signs for people who think ". [Ar-Rum: 21]

Yes ...... "So you tend to feel at ease and to him" (Allah does not say "that ye may live with him"). This confirms the meaning of calm in temperament as well as emphasizing its form and spirit of peace in its various forms.

Then the husband and wife will get peace in their partner in times of anxiety and have come in when approached by the narrowness of spaciousness.

The real pillars of the marital relationship of kinship and friendship is rooted in the love and affection. Deep and sticky relationship is very similar to one's relationship with itself.

The Qur'an explains:

هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهن

"They are clothing for you and you too are a garment for them." [Al-Baqarah: 187]

Especially when considering what was prepared for this relationship, such as children's education and life assurance, which of course can not be formed except in the realm of motherhood and fatherhood are gentle and serious spirit. Are there any community there are more clean than the atmosphere of this noble relationship?

There are many factors to support the establishment of Islamic family, in which the woven-strong marital relationship as well as much of the strife and division-(among others):

A. Iman and Taqwa To Allah Ta'ala
The first and most important factor that is holding fast to the rope of faith: faith in Allah and the Last Day, afraid of the One Who mempemerhatikan all hidden and always devoted and bermuraqabah (was supervised by the Allah Almighty-red) and away from tyranny and errors in the seek the truth.

ذلكم يوعظ به من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الأخر ومن يتق الله يجعل له مخرجا. ويرزقه من حيث لا يحتسب ومن يتوكل على الله فهو حسبه

"So be teaching with it, people who believe in Allah and the Hereafter. Those who fear Allah, He will make her way out. And give him sustenance from unexpected directions, but thought. And those who put their trust in Allah, Allah will replenish your exit ". [At-THALAQ: 2-3]

Among the strengthening of this belief is sincere and serious in the obedience and worship and remember, remind each other in the matter.

Consider the words of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam:

رحم الله رجلا قام من الليل فصلى وأيقظ امرأته فإن أبت نضح في وجهها الماء رحم الله امرأة قامت من الليل فصلت وأيقظت زوجها فإن أبى نضحت في وجهه الماء

"May God have mercy on her husband who woke up last night and woke up his wife's prayers and prayers as well. If so reluctant dipercikkannya water on his face. And may God have mercy on a wife who wake at night and then prayed and then prayed her husband membangunkcan anyway. If so reluctant dipercikkannya water on his face. " [2].

Marital relationship is not a worldly ties or relationships of animal passions, but the interaction of noble souls. So when the relationship is valid (true) then it will continue into the next life after death in the future.

جنات عدن يدخلونها ومن صلح من ءابآئهم وأزواجهم وذرياتهم

"That is heaven 'is Eden which they enter into it with the pious people of their fathers, his wives and their offspring". [Ar ¬ Ra'du: 23]

2. Establish Friendly Relations
Included among the preserve this relationship is the association between husband and wife as well. It will not be created except by mutual understanding and to understand their rights and obligations of each.

The search for perfection in the family and its members is something that is impossible. And feel prustasi in an effort to improve their properties or any others included in vain as well.

3. Husband task
Including clear thinking is (if the husband be-ed) to condition people to accept beberepa narrow and ignores some distress. A husband-as-family leaders claimed to be more patient than his wife, in which a wife was weak physically and his personality. If required to do everything so it will dead end of it all

Too much in meluruskannyapun would mean to break it and break it the same as menceraikannva.

Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

استوصوا بالنساء خيرا فإنهن خلقن من ضلع وإن أعوج شيء في الضلع أعلاه فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج فاستوصوا بالنساء خيرا

"Admonish the good women. Indeed they are created from the ribs and the ribs are terbengkok from the top. If you straighten it means you broke it. And if you leave it will continue to be crooked. For that nasihatilab woman with a good" [3]

So the weakness in women already there since it was first created. Then the patient would not want to deal with it.

For that a husband should not constantly considering what constitutes a material hardship on the family. Switch the view of some of the disadvantages. And see the good side they will undoubtedly he found a great deal.

In this context the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

لا يفرك مؤمن مؤمنة إن كره منها خلقا رضي منها آخر

"A believer (husband) tidaklak hate and anger to mukminah (wife) if he hated it because of something he Ridla pribadinyn him with other things". [4]

In this case it berprilakulah meek. For if he had seen some who hated it did not know where the sources of happiness lie.

Allah Ta'ala says:

وعاشروهن بالمعروف فإن كرهتموهن فعسى أن تكرهوا شيئا ويجعل الله فيه خيرا كثيرا

"And hang out with them with kindness. Then if you do not like them so be patient because you may not like sesuata when God made him that much good" [An-Nisa: 19]

If not so, then how could be created peace, where peace and love it: if the leaders themselves behave families hard, ugly interaction, narrow horizons, stupid, rush, unforgiving, angry, if it makes too much rehash if the exit is always good and prejudice.

Though already well understood that the interaction and the sources of happiness that will not be created unless the softness and distance themselves from unwarranted prejudice. And jealousy, in some people, sometimes turned into a prejudice that led him to always blame interpret all talk and questionable behavior. It certainly would make life feel cramped and restless hearts with no apparent reason and correct.

أسكنوهن من حيث سكنتم من وجدكم ولاتضآروهن لتضيقوا عليهن

"Put them - their wives, in which you live according to your abilities. And do not bother them to narrow their hearts ..." [(Ath-THALAQ: 6]

Though the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam has said:

خيركم خير كم لأهله و أنا خيركم لأهلي

"The best of you is the best to his family. And I was the best among you to my family" [5]

4. Task Wife
As a wife then know that happiness, love and affection are not going perfect except when the owner of the sanctity and religion (read: wife) knows his duty and not melalaikannya.

Devoted to her husband as leader, protector, guardian and provider. Obey him, keep him as a wife and keep her husband's property is the duty of a wife. Similarly, master the task of doing it, and watched his wife and himself and his house.

This wife and mother who shalihah loving, a leader in her husband's house and responsible for the lead. Recognize prowess and her husband also did not deny the goodness of his ministry. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam has been warned not to conduct a denial (of the husband-ed) it. His Word:

أريت النار فإذا أكثر أهلها النساء يكفرن قيل أيكفرن بالله قال يكفرن العشير ويكفرن الإحسان لو أحسنت إلى إحداهن الدهر ثم رأت منك شيئا قالت ما رأيت منك خيرا قط

"Showing me hell. It turns out most of its inhabitants were women who Kufr (reject). Asked to him: What is their disbelief in God?" He replied: "No, but deny the goodness of her husband. If you do good to one of your wife all day and he found you an evil then he said: I never get away from you good at all "[6]

To that should be forgiving of mistakes and neglect oversight. Do not behave worse when the husband is present and not rnengkhianatinya when ja was traveling.

With this, of course, be pleased with one another is achieved, will lasting intimate relationships, love and affection.

In sebuab hadith says:

أيما امرأة ماتت وزوجها عنها راض دخلت الجنة

"Any woman who died and the husband is pleased with, then he go to heaven" [7]

So fear Allah, O Muslims. Recognize that the achievement of harmony it will tersebarlah fragrant happiness and creates an atmosphere conducive to tarbiyah.

In addition it also grows in the life of a noble house, filled with love and mutual understanding between the nature loving motherhood and fatherhood is a firm, much of the bickering, strife and oppressed each other mutually. Also there is no animosity and hurt each other.

والذين يقولون ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إماما

"And those who say: Our Lord anugrahkanlah us our wives and our offspring, as penyenang our hearts and make us priests to those who fear Him". [Al-Furqan: 74]

Righteous family, become the media for creating public safety. How can it be safe if there has family ties in shambles. Though God has given this pleasure is delicious family harmony, intimacy and harmony.

Allah Ta 'ala says:

والله جعل لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا وجعل لكم من أزواجكم بنين وحفدة ورزقكم من الطيبات أفبالباطل يؤمنون وبنعمت الله هم يكفرون

"God has given you wives of your own nature and has given you from your wives were children and grandchildren. And give sustenance of good things. Will they believe in the falsehood and deny the favors of Allah? " [An-Nahl: 72]

Marital relationship is very solid and the (function) as a parent plus children who grow up in their care, the current picture and future people.

Therefore, when the devil had scatters the family relationship, he did not just shake up the home only and are not only spread the damage to the extent granted. But the whole community to plunge into depravity is rampant. Reality today is living proof.

May God have mercy on a man whose behavior is commendable, good-hearted, jaunty (on the family-red), gentle, loving, compassionate, diligent, not excessive and does not neglect its obligations.

Neither may God bless the woman who is not looking for mistakes, not fussy, shalihah, obedient and keep him when he does not exist, because Allaah has to maintain it.

Bertaqwalah, O 'husband and wife, O Muslims. Whoever is devoted to Allah, shall be facilitated his business.

وصلى الله على خير خلقه نبينا محمد و على آله و أزواجه الطيبين الطاهرين و على صحبه الغر الميامين و تابيعهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين.

Nabawiyah Medina, 22 Rajab 1422 H

[Copied from As-Sunnah magazine V/1422/2001M 11/Tahun Edition. Publishers Foundation Lajnah Istiqomah Surakarta, Jl. Solo-Solo Purwodadi Km.8 Selokaton Gondangrejo 57 183 Tel. 0271-761016]


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